RIP, Marco the Elf

Marco, the Elf

November 28, 2010 - December 24, 2010

Marco the Elf was born at the Barnes & Noble Bookstore at Northlake Mall in Charlotte, NC. He was adopted by Nicholas D'Avria.

The household learned his official duty was to report his owner's behavior every night to Santa. In the morning, he would be found in a new location of the house.

Marco also had two Gremlin-like rules:

He could not be touched, or he would lose his Christmas magic

He could not talk, only listen.

Originally named Marker since this was the red writing utensil Nicholas saw when he was asked to pick his name, he was swayed to change it after learning the other elves may rib him back at the workshop. His first morning, Marco perched atop the fireplace mantle, proud of his job.

As time went by, Marco became goofy or complacent. Some mornings he would be found in the Christmas tree or bopping out of the laundry detergent box. Other times, he lay inside a closet with the door shut, allowing his owner to do whatever he wanted without recourse. At times, it wasn't til 3 in the morning when he left to turn in his daily briefing to the Big Man.

Then things got creepy. It started when Marco was found on top of his owner's alarm clock, peering at him while he slept. Another morning, he was upside down, his arms wrapped around a Bacardi bottle. The last straw came when he was found atop the soap tray in his owner's parents' shower.

Marco's death is still under investigation, but it is rumored that his owner's parents "accidentally" knocked him off the shelf into the hungry mouths of two eager dogs.

A short service will be held December 26th in the D'Avria backyard. Marco's hat, his only item remaining item, will be buried. Buddy the Elf will officiate and a celebration of his life will follow on New Year's Eve. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare.